I'm a Christian. I haven't always understood what that really meant, but as I grow older I'm beginning to get a handle on what being a Christian means.
I've learned and now understand that God loves me! An important point, because if there's one thing in this world we can all agree on, it is the need we all have to love and be loved. However, it is also important to point out that as much as we all want and need love, the message of love gets skewed time and time again--through circumstances beyond our control or the mores of the society in which we live. As a result of this:
- We have women who believe that abuse is a demonstration of love;
- Teenagers who have learned (erroneously) that indiscriminate sex is an expression of love;
- Children who have experienced incest, starvation, beatings, enforced pornography, prostitution and a host of other unmentionable acts at the hands of people who love them.
It's important to know that God is love, because the more we realize that God loves us unconditionally, the more we realize that we are worthy of love. Not the kind we've experienced heretofore, but love that is patient, kind, longsuffering, slow to anger, always ready to make up, holds no grudges and never ends.
My part in all of this? To share what I've learned about God, to share what He's done to and for me, and to celebrate the fact that at forty, I’m still here!
Why do I celebrate being alive at forty? I celebrate the fact that despite suicidal tendencies, which began around fourteen with the onset of bi-polar disorder and several traumatic experiences, God saw fit that I should still be here. Maybe because He knew that someone else who is wallowing in the guilt and torment of being a Christian struggling with thoughts of suicide would need to read this post and feel His total love.
Maybe you're not suicidal but a friend or family member is touching you inappropriately?
Maybe you're dating someone who gives you an occasional slap but is apologetic right afterwards?
Maybe you and your date/boyfriend were alone and things got out of hand? You said stop but he kept on going? Now you blame yourself because his argument is that he loves you so much he couldn't stop? That's not love, that's date/acquaintance rape and needs to be reported.
This doesn't negate your faith, it just means you need a little assistance to work out your situation, or get out of it altogether.
Take it from a bipolar, incest survivor, date-rape survivor, prescription drug addiction survivor, and ex-pornography addict. I know that life is not going to be easy, but I've learned to love the me God says I am, and I'm confident in the knowledge that I have the tools to make it through.
- Faith in God to move my mountains.
- Wisdom to know that prayer changes things.
- Spirit of Praise that illuminates my blessings.
- Obedience that will ensure that I receive my blessings.
- Pen and voice to show and tell exactly how good God is, by personal experience.
So--love you, get help.